You Know You're Trailer Trash When...

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People".

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

You go to your family reunion looking for a date.

Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines."

You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

One of your kids was born on a pool table.

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos

You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.

Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart "'cause there's a law against it."

You dated one of your parents' current spouses... in high school.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

Bar

A blond, a brunette, a redhead, a vicar, a priest, a rabbi, two giraffes and a duck, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinaman, an Irishman, an Englishman, an American, and a Scotsman walked into a bar.

The bartender said, "Hang on a minute, is this some sort of joke?"

College

One man was talking to another one day. He asked, "So where is that boy of yours?"

Josh is in college," the second man replied.

"What's he taking?"

The second man grimaced, "Every cent I have."

In The Elevator

A small guy goes into an elevator, looks up and notices a huge dude standing next to him. The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says,"7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, Turner Brown."

The small guy faints.

The big dude picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small guy, "What's wrong with you?"

The small guy says, "Excuse me, but what did you say?"

The big dude looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "THANK GOODNESS! I thought you said "Turn around."

The Cowboy

This hot and dusty cowboy rode in from the mesa, filthy and exhausted. He had had nothing but his horse for company for a couple of weeks and was looking forward to a couple of cold beers in the saloon. Swinging off his horse and hitching it to the rail, the cowboy gave his horse an affectionate slap on the neck. Then he astonished an old cowhand lounging on the porch by moving around to the horse's hindquarters, lifting up it tail, and planting a demure kiss on its asshole.

What'd you do that for?" asked the cowhand, completely repulsed.

Chapped lips," said the cowboy, heading for the saloon doors.

"Wait a minute," said the old guy. "Whaddaya mean, chapped lips?"

"Keeps ya from lickin' 'em," explained the cowboy.

Hillbillies At the Mall

A hillbilly boy and his father, who lived in the moutains, were at the new shopping mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.

The boy asked his father "What is this, Pappy?" The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is!"

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a voluptuous 24 year old woman stepped out.

The father said to his son "Go get your mother!"