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Friday, April 3, 2009

The Fiddle

My cousin Murray runs a pawnshop, I asked him to appraise my grandfather's violin.

"'Old fiddles aren't worth much, I'm afraid," he explained.

"What makes it a fiddle and not a violin?" I asked.

"If you're buying it from me, it's a violin. If I'm buying it from you, it's a fiddle!"

Amish Jokes

How do you tell if you're in a redneck Amish neighborhood?
By the dead horses on cinderblocks in the front yard.

What's this?..."Clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop BANG clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop.
An Amish drive-by shooting.

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A mechanic.

How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?
What light bulb?

What are Amish porno movies like?
About 90 minutes of bare ankles!

What do Amish gangs do for revenge?
A drive-by shunning!