Useful Italian Phrases for Fiat-Chrysler

With FIAT (Fix It Again Tony) seemingly poised to own part of
Chrysler, The New York Times wondered a few days ago, "Will Detroit
have to learn to speak Italian?"

As a public service, here are learn some essential Italian phrases
to deal with Chrysler-labelled Fiat cars and Fiat-Chrysler dealerships across the country:

La macchina non parte = The car doesn't start.

Mannaggia! = &^%%$#(%**!

Niente funziona in questa macchina = Nothing works in this car.

Ci piove dentro = It rains inside (the car).

Questa la chiamate una macchina? = You call this a car?

E' la terza volta che vengo per far riparare questa macchina. E questo
è solo oggi = It's the third time that I come to have this car fixed.
And that's just today.

Mannaggia! = &^%%$#(%**!