Words To Live By

Don't call someone a bad name if they have a loaded pistol; don't call your girlfriend Tina if her name is Vivien.
--George Underwood

It is not whether you win or lose, but who gets the blame.
--Blaine Nye

"How you play the game" is for college boys. When you're playing for money, winning is the only thing that counts.
--Leo Durocher

Be somebody. Know that a bunch of guys will do anything you tell 'em. Have your own way or nothin'.
--Edward G. Robinson (in Little Caesar, screenplay by Francis Edwards Faragoh)

Don't ask the barber whether you need a haircut.
--Daniel S. Greenberg

Don't let the same dog bite you twice.
--Chuck Berry

It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.
--Dave Barry

It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.
--H. L. Mencken

It is an immense advantage to have done nothing, but one should not abuse it.
--Comte de Rivarol

Honesty is the best policy and spinach is the best vegetable.
--Popeye

When the tides of life turn against you,
And the current upsets your boat,
Don't waste those tears on what might have been;
Just lay on your back and float.
--Art Carney (as Ed Norton in The Honeymooners)

The first thing to do when you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries is to release a tiger.
--John Cleese