A Frenchman, An Englishman, and a New Yorker...

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce, primitive tribe in the Amazon.

The tribal chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you we're going to kill you, and then bind your skins together to make a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how to die."

The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison". The chief gives him some poison extracted from local berries. The Frenchman says "Viva la France!" and drinks it down.

The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please". The chief gives him an old pistol. He points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.

The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs his shoulders and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts rapidly jabbing himself all over his stomach, his ribs, his chest, his backside, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's a horrible sight.

The native chief is appalled, and screams, "What are you doing?"

The New Yorker looks at the chief and says "So much for your damn canoe, asshole!”