Advice

Show me a guy who's afraid to look bad, and I'll show you a guy you can beat every time.
--Lou Brock

Never tell a woman that you didn't realize she was pregnant unless you're certain that she is.
--Dave Barry

The best advice I ever got was to marry the girl I did. And she gave me the advice.
--General Mark Clark

The advice that means the most to me right now was not delivered directly to me. It's something I read that Fred Astaire said about his dance routines: "Get it 'til it's perfect, then cut two minutes."
--Susan Stamberg

I once complained to my father that I didn't seem to be able to do things the same way other people did. Dad's advice? "Margo, don't be a sheep. People hate sheep. They eat sheep."
--Margo Kaufman

My high school English teacher at the Bronx High School of Science, Dr. Isobel Gordon, used to deal with smart but lazy students who were trying to coast through her classes by telling us: "Don't smell the poem--read it!" In other words, don't slide by; dig in and reach for the best you've got.
--Jeff Greenfield

The best advice I've ever received was from my first editor, Paul C. Smith, as I began my column in July 1938: "For god's sake, kid, be entertaining. And remember, I have a short attention span."
--Herb Caen

"Take a chance--Columbus did."
--Bud Collins (from his mother)

The best advice I ever received was back in 1958 when I was playing the piano in a bar on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C. A congressman came up to me and said, "Kid, stop singing `Stardust' and start singing about Congress. We are funny. Pay attention to us and you will have a brand-new career." I never got to thank him. He was indicted shortly after that.
--Mark Russell

The best advice I've ever received is the advice I have for young broadcasters: "The best way to sound like you know what you're talking about is to know what you're talking about." But young broadcasters rarely ask for advice. "How did you get your job? How much money do you make?" -- that's what they want to know.
--Scott Simon

Take the cash.
--Joe Queenan

"Young man, never be a solemn ass."
--Tom Wicker (from Jonathan Daniels)