Sentence Structure Matters!

Why Sentence structure is so important...

The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.

The boss approached her and said: "Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off."

"Could you please jack off?" she says. "I feel like crap today."

Hard of Hearing Wife

A man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do"?

The doctor replies, "Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question. If she doesn't respond, keep moving closer, asking the question, until she hears you. Then, you'll come back here and tell me the result and I can recommend something"

The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, "What's for dinner, honey"?

He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again.

Still no response, so he moves to five feet. No answer.

Finally, he stands directly behind her and says, "Honey, what's for dinner"?

She replies, "For the fourth time, I said chicken!"

Checking In

So I checked into a hotel and said to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."

"No," she said, "it's regular porn, you sick bastard."