Signs that show you're Italian...

1. You're 5'4", can bench press 325 pounds and shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.

2. Your father owns five houses, has $800,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 Monte Carlo.

3. You share a bathroom with your five brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000.00 Camaro.

4. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, and travel agent are all blood relatives.

5. You consider dunking a pack of cookies in milk a nutritious breakfast.

6. Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law.

7. You are a card-carrying V.I.P. at more than 3 dance clubs.

8. Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing your "Just Do Me" tank top.

9. At least five of your cousins live on your street.

10. All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.

11. A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts.

12. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.

13. If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 8", it is presumed your mother had an affair.

14. There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.

15. You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

16. At some point in your life, you were a D.J.

17. Thirty years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto" when answering the phone.