Frank Perdue Jr. is granted a private audience with the Pope. "Your holiness," he says, "I've heard that the Church has suffered some financial reversals, so I'm here with a proposal that can benefit both of us. I'm prepared to donate a hundred million dollars to the Church, provided you make one small change in the Lord's Prayer.

Where it says, `Give us this day our daily bread...' Well, I'd like you to consider changing just the end of that line to: `Give us this day our daily chicken.'"

The Pope is taken aback. "That's a most unusual request," he says, "but it's certainly a substantial kindness that you're offering the Church. Let me discuss your offer with the College of Cardinals, and I'll be back in touch with you in a few days."

As soon as Perdue leaves, the Pope convenes an emergency meeting of the Cardinals. "I've got good news and bad news, boys," he says, "The good news is that Perdue is going to donate 100 million dollars to us. THe bad news is I think we're going to have to resign the Wonder Bread account."